


I Wouldn't Change A Day

by agenderleadingplayer



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, my first m/f fic i hate myself oh lordie, this is so straight i h8 this, this was just supposed to be a headcanon and things got out of hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 01:53:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6137239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenderleadingplayer/pseuds/agenderleadingplayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You almost ask her, there on that couch or that bed in that somewhere, a short break on a chase for the something-or-other, but then you remember a house in Virginia where a man with the gift of God killed hundreds, remember a Civil War nurse, remember things too far back and you think."</p>
<p>Takes place after the events of 4x05. Scully poses a question Mulder's not sure he'll be able to answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wouldn't Change A Day

You turn to her then, her face close to yours, maybe too close for comfort if you think about it too long. "Would you?" she asks, and you narrow your eyes, resist the urge to brush her hair out of her face even though it's not even in her face. 

"Would I what?"

"Die for me?" She's laughing, even though it's not funny, but of course you're not complaining because any day she's laughing, no matter what about, it's a good day. You think about it, wonder for a brief moment how this arbitrary back-of-your-mind out-loud wonder became this conversation, ten, eleven PM, on a couch or a bed somewhere, doesn't matter where, really, all that matters is how you answer. 

And you know you're supposed to want to say yes. You know that part by heart know, know that she would want you to say yes –

Wouldn't she?

– but instead you think about it for a minute, a minute and a half, two. And the answer is no, because if you answered yes then who would she have? And you don't, you think, want to make it seem like you saved her from anything; you didn't, you didn't, she saved herself, you just helped when the tears came down too hard, but...

The answer is still...

"No." It's said with an exhale, an air of finality to it. No, I will not die for you, no I will never, because us, together, that's our whole deal, isn't it? Together. That's the deal, that always was. 

She smiles then, and you smile too, and she blinks a slow blink and looks you straight in the eye again and says "Ask me if I would." and you look at her then look away because you can see in her eyes...

"Ask me if I would." Die for you, she means. Ask me if I would die for you. Ask me. 

There's a hint of a smile in her voice still, and you know, know somewhere, somehow that if you do she'll answer yes. 

And you almost ask her, is the thing. 

You almost ask her, there on that couch or that bed in that somewhere, a short break on a chase for the something-or-other, but then you remember a house in Virginia where a man with the gift of God killed hundreds, remember a Civil War nurse, remember things too far back and you think. 

You think about the Polish ghetto, where you apparently lived, and you think about your father there. And how he died for you. 

And you think about being a soldier in a war you've only ever read about in history textbooks, never witnessed but still fought in, and you think about your general. And how he died for you. 

Past lives, you had said; crazy, she had said. But you think, think about "I wouldn't change a day," think about soulmates. 

And you've never wanted to call it that, found it cheesy even for you, but that's the word they use, isn't it? Souls...mate...eternal. Soulmates. 

And you look at her, still expecting your question as a response to her answer. But you don't ask. 

Instead?

"I know you're gonna say yes." With a laugh, even though it's not funny, but she laughs too, so in the end you suppose it's worth it. And you take her hand and look at it, her hand in yours, together, that's what you agreed on, and take a breath. 

"You already have." She looks at you with a question in her eyes, a furrow in her brow, so you explain, explain about your father in the ghetto, your general in the War Of Northern Aggression, as you suppose you would have called it. 

"You already have," you say again, meaning it this time, not like you didn't mean it before, but meaning it more. "And I can't let you do that again."

**Author's Note:**

> ok i'm screaming i hate this
> 
> this really only came to pass bc of some tumblr post i saw a while ago about hogwarts houses (it's a long story) and this...happened.
> 
> yikes
> 
> title taken from a quote from the episode 
> 
> hope you enjoyed, and as always, your feedback is appreciated!! even just a comment or smth would really make my day !!


End file.
